Time keeps on ticking by. A couple weeks back I got out of my car, saw the wreath on the door, and thought "oh, I should hang the Fourth of July one"...and then realized that the 4th of July had passed by two weeks earlier. This happens to me, a lot. I always have good intentions of decorating for different holidays, of creating special holiday memories, of accomplishing this or that. And time always slips by. I am not a very intentional person. Most of the time I am okay with this. I like being an easy-breezy kind of girl. I like being flexible and letting things roll off my back. I like that I am unscheduled and open to change. But lately it is hitting me how much of life is flashing by while I sit back and watch it go. Maybe it is slapping me in the face lately because I am watching my youngest son, at 11 weeks old, change so quickly. I am aware, as he is probably my last baby, of how quickly it all passes by. I am also very aware of the passage of time lately, as my oldest born-to-me daughter is 12 years old now.
12 years. How did that happen? I have been a mom for 12 years now. I have also been overweight for that long. I meant to lose weight. I meant to exercise and eat right. I have even done it a few times over the past 12 years, but not for any significant amount of time, and certainly not long enough to lose the weight I'd like to lose.
So what is this blog about? What does 181 weeks mean? I used an online countdown site, and found out that there are 181 weeks until I turn 40. Writing that number astounds me. I am not all that worried about turning 40, I just can't believe it possibly applies to me. I still feel 17 most days. And also 70. My body aches like an old woman, but my mind still tells me I am only 17, with my whole adult life before me. So this blog is about that. About regaining control, or finding it for the first time, over the passage of time. I can choose to make no changes to my life, and find myself, 181 weeks from now, still overweight, with a list of things I hope to do when I am a grown-up...or, I can be intentional and deliberate about making changes, taking steps toward the life I'd like to live.
This is not just about losing weight. This is about taking a look at what I really want in life, evaluating the things that have been on my list for the past 20 years, and tackling some of those items in a go-get 'em way.
I am starting the list here, but it will be updated as I think of more things to add. For today, I start with just this...
Lose 100 lbs.
Learn to play guitar for real
Compete in a triathlon
Pay down my student loan debt
Graduate with my master's degree
Step one: I downloaded a calorie counter for my phone, and have inputted my food for today. I selected a moderate weight-loss plan, as I have no desire to make my entire life revolve around food or the lack thereof.
I may or may not post my actual weight as I go along. And I may or may not post photos. I haven't decided yet. And as this is a blog for me, I suppose that the choice is mine to make.
